I am perpetually missing something. Trying to bake and missing an ingredient (currently: molasses). Coming home from the store only to find I am out of something else (currently: napkins). Trying to use Mod Podge without a foam brush (substitute: q-tips).
It’s a hard life to live, to be always doing without. I’d like to think I have become very resilient and creative because of it. In fact, I used up my molasses because I was halfway through making oatmeal cookies only to find I was out of brown sugar (substitute: white sugar and molasses). And we have fabric napkins, which always serve to add a little elegance to any meal.
But there is something always missing that I can’t substitute or fix myself. Well, I suppose it’s not exactly missing, rather incomplete. Wanting. Partial. Imperfect. It’s that space in between my front teeth. A diastema. Gap teeth.
I thank God that my teeth are straight. Despite my heavy coffee and tea drinking, fairly white (thank you, Oral-B and Crest White Strips). Braces were never an option growing up. And I envy my brothers with their un-braced straight and even teeth. But with my gap teeth, freckles, and hair that some people insist is redish, I feel like I belong with the Beverly Hillbillies. I never felt more like a honky than when we lived in
Different eras in history thought gap teeth were a sign of beauty. Favor from God. Dare I say it - erotic. But in our era of manufactured beauty it’s easy to feel insufficient. If one doesn’t have a perfect body, perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect teeth, don’t even consider thinking oneself pretty.
My mind is a sea of emotions regarding my teeth. On the wave crest I like the shape of my teeth and don’t mind the distance between them. In the troughs I think I can’t go another day with these holes in my smile.
I insisted to Mr. Wright that once we had bought a house and worked out our new monthly budget that I wanted braces. “Okay,” he says. “But I’ll miss the old you.” Would I miss the old me? Would I fix my missing only to find I have a new missing?
Psalm 139:13-18
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
Thank you, God, for making me. For making me unique and one-of-a-kind. Thank you for purposing me the way you did. I know it is no accident - with you there are no accidents. Help me to love your workmanship, inside and out. You are altogether holy and praiseworthy.
4 comments:
Heather-
I recall Andy saying his favorite physical quality about you was your gap between your teeth. Quite a compliment!
Also if it makes you feel any better I have a diastasis recti (gap between my abs) from pregnancy that may never go away. It depresses me. I miss my "knit together" abs.
I hear ya. We all have our flaws that we focus on and no one else notices. But you know what, you're hot, I'm hot, we're all hot. We're just going to have to find some way to deal with our hotness.
Well, you're right about that. We are all hot. It's hard, but we'll find a way to deal with it somehow...
Hi there! My teeth were kind of weird before I got braces (at age 25). I had so many people tell me not to do it, that the teeth added character. I did it anyway, and it's the best thing I've ever done. SO, I guess my point is, do whatever makes you feel the best! You'll be the happiest that way.
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